Crusades of Convenience

The Crusades. Possibly one of the greatest blunders in all of Christian history, a stain that still lingers even after centuries of washing. Not our proudest, but most certainly one of the biggest, event(s) in history. But why?

Why "In the name of God" did thousands of knights of Europe charge off into the middle east to cut down tens of thousands of stalks in Gods grain field? Why were they so convinced that these people were beyond God's reach to save? Was their blood not red? Did their skin tone turn them into unearthly monsters that didn't come under John 3:16, or 2 Peter 3:9?

There are no easy answers to why those people embarked on the Crusades. And there are a flurry of factors and reasons ranging all the way from kingdom politics to personal affairs. But I stumbled upon a hypothesis today, that the Crusades we spawned out of laziness. "What!?! How is that possible?" you ask thinking in a purely physical labor mindset. Although true, a Crusade required an extraordinary amount of physical labor, there was little mental work and absolutely no spiritual work.

My hypothesis is that the people of the Crusades were attempting to make the battle we fight against Satan into a physical battle. It is far faster and easier to cut someone down with a sword, sling or arrow then it is to learn their language, learn their customs/culture, become their friend, and explain that they need to come back to the God that they already believe they are following. It was simple, easy, and didn't require them to become better or more holy people. They could wipe all of God's enemies off the earth in a simple motion, and it was far faster than converting them. They could see that a mental battle would take lifetimes of dedicated work, and laziness won out.

Brain waves

So I was going to write a big blog post. But I don't have enough time left.

The basic gist though was that I have a song stuck in my head. But I've never heard the song before, it's one that my brain has composed to listen too. I've been trying all afternoon to write it, but a combination of poor musical equipment and difficulty determining the notes required have hindered my progress. If I ever manage to finish it I'll upload it for your listening convenience.

Lifeless

So the only major event since my last post was yesterday. Yesterday I went to a pre-release party for Worldwake, the next edition of Magic cards. Overall I had an awesome time, I built what actually wasn't a bad deck, unless I was playing against Black. Needless to say 4 of my 6 opponents were playing black, but I manged to win one round, and a total of 4 games. I was having so much fun though, I didn't realize I had been there for 8 hours until they said they were closing the shop. And I didn't come in last either, I came in 29th out of 37. That isn't bad for someone still relatively new to the game.

So as to the title it was just kinda a revelation I had while talking with John today. I actually don't really have a life yet. It was kinda sad, but it was kinda alright too because John doesn't have one either. Neither of us are employed, have girlfriends, or are in school. We have so much free time we get bored because we've done everything in/around the house at least twice that day already.

It's alright to be lifeless right now, it's not entirely our own fault that there are no jobs for us. But it kinda sucks that there isn't anything that we absolutely have to do either. We both are just hoping that it changes eventually.

Fantasmical land of idealism

Since the last time I posted my life has been blurred.

Mom and Dad came up on Thursday of last week and left on Tuesday. They were here to work with aunt Laura on a website/charity design for their new project in Africa (If you haven't heard click HERE). It was great to see them again, but it felt kind of weird too. Its been almost 3 months since I heard their voices, and it kept freaking me out. I thought I was going insane, hearing people who weren't there. Mom and Dad had a good time though. Friday we went out for Ethiopian, Saturday we went to Ikea in the morning, and out to Phil's in the evening, I'll tell you about Sunday in a minute, Monday I took them out for Bubble tea. They got to see the R.O.M. (Royal Ontario Museum). Overall they did quite a bit of stuff. I am glad they came, I think it was good for us all.

Sunday is actually the reason for the title. On Sunday we all went to the Imax theater to see Avatar in 3D. The screen was 6 stories high, and the volume was actually at a level that was not too hard on my ears. And Avatar is the best movie I've seen since the Dark Knight came out. The 3D, the story, the animation, the characters, it was all so beautiful and believable. If I had the money I would go see it again and again until they took it out of the theaters. But alas I do not have the funds or the time to do such a carefree and frivolous thing. Avatar will be my first DVD purchase for my own library though, I guarantee it. There is a down side to all this though, and I think RoosterTeeth can sum up how I feel the best. (YOU HAVE TO CLICK THIS OR THE REST OF THE BLOG WON'T MAKE SENSE!!!!)

Now to understand what is going on, they just finished a series of comics depicting Nathan (The tall person) as such an Avatar fan that he painted himself blue and was learning Na'Vi. In the comic right before this one they had finally rehabilitated him, and he had gone back to normal.

This is best and most accurate description of any video game based on a movie, and is exactly how I feel about Avatar. I've been searching for pirated sound tracks, fantasizing, dreaming, anything that puts me back on Pandora. The movie was so spectacular I hope for, and yet loath the idea of a sequel. I hope for it because Avatar was such a wonderful movie. But I worry because it is entirely possible the the sequel will turn out like the ones to The Matrix, or Pirates of the Caribbean, that the sequel ruins the magic that captured me in the first one. But, if worst comes to worst, I'll do what I did with the Matrix (and should've done with the pirates), and I'll let everybody see it first. And if they say it was bad and it ruined everything then I'll never watch it.

On a side note I've had Rise Against: Hero of war stuck in my head. (Click) What do you think?

"Magic"

So while I've been in Toronto I go to learn a game I've wanted to learn for years, Magic the Gathering.

It's a card game, not dissimilar to YuGiOh, or Pokemon, but much more complicated and way more fun. When I say complicated though I am more referring to actual sequence of events that transpire when the game is played. The rules themselves are quite simple, but the cards can be quite complicated. How can the cards be complicated?The Golden Rule in magic is that " When a card contradicts the rulebook, the card wins." An example is that you can't attack with a monster you have just summoned on to the battlefield, you

have to wait one turn to attack. The are monster cards that have the ability "Haste", which allows you to attack with the monster the same turn you summoned it. Like I said, the cards are complicated.

Apparently Uncle Roddie and aunt laura used to play back when it first came out, but they haven't been playing since 1995 (maybe 96, they can't remember) and because they haven't played in so long a few of the cards are actually rare and worth something (50-70 $ for the major ones), it was cool to find out I was playing with and against some of these hard to get and expensive cards.

I have a screen shot from the official FAQ on the Magic the Gathering website, I thought it was kind of enlightening, and rather funny.

And if you can't read it here is what it says.

"Q: Is Magic evil?
A: No. Magic is no more evil than Scrabble, Chess, or any other game. There is the occasional person who believes Magic is some sort of "gateway to the occult", (either because they want to denounce it or because they want to try to use it as such) but they're generally nutcases of some description who have difficulty separating "real life" from "pretend". Playing Magic will no more invoke the occult than reading Treasure Island will cause pirates to spring to life in your house or watching Godzilla movies will cause a giant radioactive monster to level Tokyo."

If you don't believe that this quote is actually from the FAQs, click this link, in the table of contents look under "General questions about Magic", then find "Is Magic evil?"

http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/19076534/The_Magic_General_FAQ

I think it's funny when the FAQ has to explain to people that it is just a card game.

It's not the best Manuel that I've ever read, but it is in my top 5 now.

Meaningless

So I haven't blogged in forever. That's because I'm lazy. And I guess I have to be in a "mood" to do it.

I've hit a meaningless stream today. (thats what I call it when this world feels futile and I get depressed)

I usually dodge the depression fairly well, but I finished a video game today. When I finish books, video games, see the last episode of a show, or watch the end of a movie I can't dodge the depression. I look at the happy endings and say "What now?" I look at the tragedies and say "That's it?" And I look at the incomplete stories and say "That's the end?"

It doesn't help that I tried and failed to apply to a collage today. Because when I look in the future I don't see long happy life, I see meaningless labor until I die or the world ends and then an age comes where it doesn't matter what I did for a career. The entire cycle of working for money to use it to live seems trivial.

But it did remind me of something,

Ecclesiastes 3:9-14

⁹What does the worker gain from his toil? ¹⁰I have seen the burden God has laid on men. ¹¹He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹²I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. ¹³That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.

Today I felt that eternity. I long for the day of restoration.

Bleh

Ya, I haven’t blogged in a while. My explanation is that I’ve started to feel like I’m being beaten with a stick. I work at least 8 hours, 6 days a week, and Sunday isn’t entirely a day off. It has given me a wonderful insight in to why dad loves the sand dune islands so much though. You feel so burned out by fishing, that you don’t want to do anything. Blog, e-mail, facebook, or dealing with anybody takes all of the life out of you and you just want to be somewhere with no social obligations.

I’m already sketching out plans for a “me” trip somewhere on those dunes. The rough plan is to kayak alone out to the island and camp there for 2/3 days. It’ll be the first actual alone time I’ve gotten since being home. Some people would think I’m crazy, but most of those are the technologically dependent & or socially extroverted people. I don’t fall into the latter category, although I do find it enjoyable being around people is very draining for me. As for the former category, I think I’ve proved by not updating the blog these last couple of weeks that I am undependent on the electronic social network of today. If the blog doesn’t convince you, then look at my facebook profile, it hasn’t been updated in the last few weeks either.

"Beutiful" 20 Knot day

Today was a fun day on the boat. We logged in a 10 hour day, it was rough, raining, and windy (My definition of rough by the way is when you can’t see anything but the aerials of another boat when you are at the crest of the wave and they are in the trough). A long day or a rough day, are stressful enough by themselves. When combined they create an exhausting day.

It was great to see how far I’ve come in my fishing though. In my second year we were out on a day not as bad as this one, I was rather vocal about how we should be at home waiting the storm out. The day similar to this in year three I had a bad attitude, but I didn’t vocalize my thoughts. Year six (this year) its just another day, I don’t complain, I kept a positive attitude, and when the traps fell off the washboard I put them back on and kept going. It’s shown me how far I’ve come in the last five years.

I’m still tired, I guess that hasn’t changed. What’s to be expected though, even dad was exhausted after today and he’s been doing it longer than I’ve been alive. I’m hoping tomorrow will either be nicer, or will be so bad that we can’t leave the harbour.

I saw the future, but I couldn't see what was in it.

I’ve been doing some thinking lately. Most of it is either incoherent or completely fictional so I won’t mention the bulk of it. But what I’m zeroing in on it the thoughts about what to do for the rest of my life. I need to figure out what I want to do, and fast, but I’m finding it difficult to decide what I want to do. I feel like there are so many options, and I have too little time to review them.

I don’t know if anyone at the college noticed or not, but I’m not really a decisive person. I have a hard time choosing between things, even when they appear to be exact opposites. It’s part of why many of my decisions are made slowly, and why I’m rather stubborn about reviewing the options again when a new one comes up.

This will be one of the bigger decisions of my life, and I want to be sure that I get it right. At the same time I want to get my decision over with quickly. I also want some meat, and there doesn’t appear to be any in this house. Oops, one of the of the bulk ones escaped. Maybe it’s time for a nap, or another episode of the X files, or I could look for meat, it is suppertime.

Facebook= (>.<)

So for anyone who checks my blog, my facebook is frozen, and that’s why I haven’t changed anything on it. Stupid dial-up, and stupid people who designed a popular networking program for “everyone” that requires something that not everyone has. Oh well, I hate facebook anyway.

A lot has happened in the last while so here is the summary.

I’ve been fishing for the last couple of weeks, and I am so glad to be back. As I figured it regulated my sleep schedule, so I’m back to the 9:30/10 PM – 5:30/AM sleep times, without an alarm! I feel rejuvenated.  It’s been nice on the water, and I’ve been able to clearly see most of the sunrises so far. Let me assure you, no sunrise can be more beautiful than one seen rising from the water. The bad side is that lobster is only 2.75 a pound. For the people who don’t exactly understand how bad that is, Grampy needs at least 4 $ a pound to break even.

I finally got around to ordering a nice recurve bow. I ordered a Chek Mate bow with black walnut limbs, 58 inches tall, 29 inch draw length, and 55 pound draw. The awesome news is that each order is custom made and costs about 300 dollars Canadian! Bad news is that because its custom made, and they are very cheap and popular it will take up to 8 months for them to make it and send it to me. It’ll still be a fantastic Christmas present.

I taught our adult Sunday school class this last Sunday. I felt nervous, but I used the training and knowledge I gained from MCC so everything came together fairly well. I’d tell you what the lesson was, but the book is far from my reach right now. Dad says I did such a great job that he’s going to take the summer off and let me teach Sunday school for the rest of the summer (>_<). Worse things could happen I suppose, he’s after Ted to preach a sermon sometime soon. I think he’s trying to train us to do his jobs so he doesn’t have to do anything.

Update next week

Graduation

I GRADUATED! I got my Biblical Studies Certificate from MCC, I’ve finished my first year at college. 

It’s been an amazing year, learning how to be on my own, meeting new people, making new friends who share what I believe and what I’m passionate about, and deepening my knowledge understanding of God. I am so thankful for being able to take this year to learn my faith, and here I will thank everyone by name (In no particular order) that helped me make it through.

John MacDonald – I thank you for your opinions, when I needed my view challenged you gave me a new perspective, another angle to judge something by. I thank you for your diverse tastes in everything, and I thank you for introducing me to Red Bull.

Darrell Haines – I thank you for your inconsistency.  When I needed a laugh you were there with the “right” comment to make. I also thank you for your personal advice, and for showing me that its OK I don’t have to worry.

Vincent Arsenault – I thank you for showing me “It’s not so bad”. I also thank you for your realism when I needed it. I also have you to thank for getting me into the foosball playoffs, coming in when I need some stress relief or a break and asking if I want to play a game.

Jason McVicar – I thank you for your perspective. When I asked, or even simply brought up a subject you would show me the facts about what your stance was. You also helped to dispel some of the fear I have when I teach anybody about God, if I end up going into ministry it’ll be your fault. I also thank you for giving me a simple workout routine that I can actually stick to, and for introducing me to Utopia.

James Stevenson – I thank you for toughening me up. I always prayed for patience and God answered me. You helped me learn to laugh things off, no matter how severe they sound. I also thank you for when you presented your serious side. It showed me that it’s possible to live through this world and retain your own views and your faith.

Robbie Sevilla – I thank you for your advice, it helped me shape the way I do things. I also thank you for giving me chances to try things that I never thought I could do, and showing me that I can succeed. I also thank you for your sense of humour.

Simon Macintyre – I thank you for showing me that it’s possible to live off a diet of pure salt. I also thank you for showing me that I don’t have to be good at everything, just good at what I do.

 

I wish everyone well over the summer, I will miss you all.

Ugh

So I'm back on P.E.I., I still have two shows left to do. The trip was good. We some how managed to get a tour bus despite the fact we weren't going to get one originally. THOSE THINGS ARE LOADED. There was a bathroom (we didn't use this out of courtesy for everyone else), A DVD player with screens for everyone. To top it off it was a 56 passenger bus, there was 11 of us including Fred (College president).

I'm starting to get sad now though. I've been informed by my parents that I'm coming home on Thursday night. This means that I won't be able to spend any truly free time with the friends I've made here. I'm going to miss them, they've become a large part of my life. I wish I could spend the two days before graduation with them before I have to go home and revert back to the introverted antisocial mushroom I am at home. 

This year has been great and I wish it didn't have to end, that it doesn't have to change. But such is life on this side of heaven. 

Excitement

I finished my exams yesterday, O don't think I did too bad. I answered all the questions on them anyway.

"Why is Ben up at quarter to six, and blogging?" There are three reasons for this. 

1. Ben is a fisherman and a morning person. My attitude goes down the later I get up, although I've worked on that over this year and I'm much less crabby when I stay up late, get up late, or lose 4-all hours my sleep for one night
   
2. I got that butterfly feeling in my stomach I get Christmas morning. 
3. Explains reason 2. Choir tour starts today, and I'm as nervous as I am excited. I still need to pack in fact. But I don't think I'll be able to blog while on the road. So I'm getting one in right now.

I almost don't want to do this, but I want to as well, because I've invested hours into getting my lines ready for this. If dad decides to come and get me after the tour like he's planning, this will be the last thing I do with my friends here. I'm gonna save the emotional blog for when I get back from the tour.

So close!

The end of school is so close I can almost taste it. But yet it is so far away... I want to go home. Not to sleep all day, but to sleep from 9-5. I want to stay here though too. I'm gonna miss everyone at the college. 

Something I know I'll miss for sure is road hockey. We played today, we may play again on Thursday. I had a pretty good game. I watched some You Tube videos of goalies to see if I could improve my game any. The only thing I gleaned from my short search was a quick tip on the initial stance. It said to hold the glove up, previously I'd hold the glove more or less at my side, the crook of my elbow pointed down like ^. I started holding the glove up so the crook was pointed like a v. My new knowledge was rewarded. My response time went up, I blocked more shots, and I made a beautiful glove save (I snatched it out of the air) that I know I wouldn't have made if my glove wasn't held up. 

I never liked playing any sports until I started playing road hockey here. The guys have been great, letting me play goalie all the time (I think I'm the only one who likes playing goalie anyway) giving me tips, and having the patience to let me learn my position. I'll miss it over the summer, I just hope I don't get rusty, or forget anything I've learned on how to play.  

Quicky

I'm just sitting here watching hockey night in Canada between Philadelphia and Pittsburgh (Odd?). I'm running down the home stretch in school, not much work left to do except study. 

I've been thinking lately, but I'm not sure what I'm thinking about. I've caught myself randomly staring off in to space, my mind wandering everywhere and nowhere. When I catch myself I lose my train of thought and can't remember what I was thinking of/about. 

Ted would know what skit I'm thinking of when I say my mind has been forwarding messages to my fax machine. He was right, it is an inefficient process.

HOME! NOW!

I went home to spend the weekend relaxing. While home I discovered a number of intriguing things.

1. Books are more addicting than video games for me. 

True, I spent a good section of my weekend playing video games.  But I saw To Green Angel Tower Part 1 sitting cross ways on my book shelf. I realized that I had gotten it for Christmas, and I had reread the first two books over the final days of Christmas break, but had never returned to reread Part 1 and 2 of To Green Angel Tower. I spent 4 hours Monday afternoon reading 350 pages of that 750 page book. With video games I spend 1-2 hour increments, then I have to take at least a break before returning to the game. With books I can read as long as I'm awake. The only reason I stopped for supper is because I also had to use the bathroom and realized what time it was.

2. I miss home.

I went home and I went for a couple walks out in the woods, despite the stormy weather, and I realized that I haven't gone for a walk outside since I was home last. While I've been living in Charlottetown I've come to realize I hate living in the city. Oh sure, "This is the boonies" says John, but this is more than I can handle all the same. I feel no motivation to go outside at all. I only leave the building if someone says "Hey we're going ____. Want to come?" I just can't handle it. I did go for 1 walk in the city. It was at 6:00 in the morning and a blizzard out, and yet there was still a wicked load of traffic on University. I finally gave up on my plan to walk downtown and just walked around in the suburbs where there was peace.

3. Sleep is good.

I got my sleep cycle partially regulated while I was at home. Regular being in bed at 9:00, up at 5:00. And I discovered that my assessment in an earlier post was correct. I can do the 11-7 thing, even the 12-8 thing now, but I'm on a drain due to its abnormality. even though it's 8 hours, I just can't seem to fully adjust. When I was home my clock began to repair itself, and for the first time since I've started feeling drained and depressed last month, I felt rested, happy, and energetic.  I'm ashamed I'm breaking that so needed restoration even as I type right now.

I can't wait to get home. Regulate my sleep, go for quiet woods walks, read books for my own leisure and entertainment, and be done of school for another year. I'll post later about how sad I am that I won't see the friends I've made here.

Stuff

We played road hockey today. I had one of my better games as a goalie, I made saves that I thought weren't possible. I think I may have some bruises to show when I go home as the trade off.

I'm going home for the weekend. As much as I love the College, its in the city. I just don't really enjoy the urban environment. When I was home I would go for one or two 30min-90min walks, just because I enjoy them. When I got to the College I basically never left the building. I only leave if I'm going somewhere, I never just go for a leisurely walk. I did once. But it was during a snow storm, so there was no traffic, made me wish I was home.

There's a path in the back corner of the woods, if you follow it all the way it goes for about a mile, maybe two, into the forest. I love walking that in the fall and spring(no mosquitoes), because it's entirely private, no one uses it, and there's a forest between every road and house, so no one can see you while your on it. 

I can't wait to go home and use this path, it'll relive some stress for me.

Music

So I'm sitting on five chairs in the Chapel listening to Robbie and James jam (Robbie-guitar James-Fish). It reminds me of how much I love music. I don't think I've always been muscially inclined, I'd have to check with Mom and Dad, but the longer I live the more I seem to like music and wish I had really started earlier. I drum now, and I used to play the trombone. I kinda wish I could play the Piano. I love music though, I like to listen to it at all times, and I love making it more than I like to listen to it. 

I think I'll join them on the stage.

Lack of Courtesy?

The mundane first, we played ball hockey yesterday despite the dampness. Our shoes will take a few days to dry out though mine were soaked through, and I didn't run through any puddles. I am happy to say though that my team won two of the three games we played.

 

On to the meat of the post, the lack of common courtesy in our modern society. 

Yesterday was a bad day for remembering things. I didn't remember that we had choir practice in the morning (and set a new record for a non-sick sleep in 8:48) so  I didn't get to do the work I had planned for the morning. At 12:30 approximately I realized I wouldn't get any work in the afternoon either because we were playing ball hockey at 2:00. Then at ball hockey Lydia was nice enough to remind me that I was going to a movie with Shaneese, Abby, and Jeromie to celebrate Shaneese's birthday at 5:30. I did manage to squeeze in the time for a shower between the time I got back (5:00) and the time we left. While at the theatre though, I held the door open for everyone, just as I was about to let it close two people walked across the street obviously heading for the entrance I was in. So being the nice person I am I held the door open for them, but instead of entering through the door I was holding open for them, they went around and entered through the other door! I might understand if they were a little closer to that door, but they stopped right in front of the door I was holding open, turned left, walked around the open door, and then entered.

 

Were these people so unaccustomed to people holding the door open that they didn't understand what I was doing? Did they genuinely not see that the door was open? Or were they trying to avoid me? I've toyed before with the idea that such things as automatic doors have removed common courtesies (Like holding the door open) from our society. We don't remember to hold the door for people because we don't need that reflex. We don't say thank you to the cashier, they're just doing their job. We don't let people go ahead of us in a line; we have problems of our own. 

 

Our world seems to have become a cold place. I remember in MacLean’s magazine they had a nation wide courtesy test, they checked who would give them service with a smile for a small purchase (such as a pen, or gum), who would stop to help someone who fell down and dropped a large stack of papers all over the place, and who would hold the door open for them when they followed close behind. If I remember correctly (please correct me if I'm wrong dad) the highest scoring city only had 70%. The next runners up having 60%, and it goes downhill from there. One of the most common excuses for not stopping to help someone though war basically "I'm too busy." 

I think we are failing to teach things which make life easier to live in, things like courtesy and chivalry. Sooner or later we are going to have to deal with the effects, but for now I will be a hero of courtesy. Being kind, and promoting my view of chivalry on the world.

No point

So I'm sitting here in class and our professor is running late, and I noticed that the Blog needed an update so here it is.

The year photo is today. I don't mind that so much, but my shirts and my best pants need to be ironed (and I do know how to do that). I guess I'll have to do it imbetween classes. I can only hope that both sides of my shirt turn out the same, I start to get lazy after a point (and I will be in a hurry).

Tomorrow we might be playing road hockey, that'll be fun. I play one of the goalies so my job is to put my body imbetween a flying piece of solid rubber and a net that is slightly too large for my liking. That's OK though, I prefer that to running around and having to block shots without the equipment.